SecretZen

I’'m sorry you feel that way, sweets. But please hang in there because this world needs good people like you.

I apologize for the silly typos and the long post. :/

I apologize for the silly typos and the long post. :/

Hope You’re all right, Vendrus 
I’m sorry for not replying ealier to your points which were direct and clear-Got caught up with things. Anywhoo, this may be my last comment on this secret-I’m sure you can guess why: P
1stly, it’s obvious to me that you don’t hate on the religion. I like to believe that we’re all here to understand and not judge. Also, NONE of the points were intended to offend anyone.
Okay, so I’m following your flow of points and responding accordingly.
Talking about Nuns and their covering, it’s interesting what you pointed out because I was under the impression that the literary script (Holy Bible) has asked the women to cover their heads. Of course, whether or not you do it is upto you. This is a little off-topic but it may be interesting for you to know (if you don’t already), (mother) Mary is one of the MOST revered ladies in our religion. So following Islam includes following her path as well. Maybe the difference lies in our standards of practice, where usually in Christianity, only the ones ‘pursuing’ the faith overtly ( e.g. Nuns) perform their duties, whereas here, priest or not, rules are rules.
I’m sorry if you felt offended about any statement, but as I said earlier, it wasn’t intended. I definitely didn’t rule out any religion / culture negatively. I did however, criticize our society and I still stand by what I said. Although not YOUR society specifically-It was directed at the global whole. Also, I didn’t say that any place with a majority of Christian folks is vulgar/cheap/disrespectful. You check out the magazines/billboards etc, don’t tell me most of the content doesn’t exploit women (and men). As tempting as it is to be in their place, it’s very disturbing to know that our society has defined beauty and its standards where being a certain way is considered beautiful.
Now your thought that I made other faiths seem inferior is your perspective – not something I carved out. The reason I said the Hijab ((when worn and used correctly) elicits respect because it HAS provided me with more security and respect. Now I say this ONLY b’coz I’ve been on both the sides and I can tell you as of now, I’d choose the covering any day because once you’ve weighed everything, you know that despite the difficulties, it’s worth it.
Also, praising one thing doesn’t necessarily prove that I hate the other. If I say my school is good, it doesn’t mean I’ve indirectly announced that yours isn’t. It just means I like mine. Same way, my praise towards the religion I follow doesn’t prove that I dislike or condemn anybody else’s. Personally, I’d refrain from thinking what the implications are without being too sure.
Okay, going to the need for Islam to ‘give’ women rights. I’d like to know what’s wrong with that. Unlike other faiths, this is the only one which has the rules intact and applied even today. Divine laws don’t need to be changed. If someone created this world, that creator is definitely aware of the changes that are going to take place, so editing and omitting or rules shouldn’t work. If this editing happened in Islam, I wouldn’t be here defending it. The reason I put this point forward is so I can direct you to this point. We’re talking about decades back where slavery was prominent and women were treated worse than animals. In the pre-Islamic time, ignorance allowed these ‘macho men’ to act silly and use women to their accord. You are an educated woman, so you can agree with me and say it was wrong. Tell me how else these submissive women could attain the rights they deserved and more importantly, WHO would help them?
The prophet spoke about these rights in one of the uninformed places (at that time). You don’t think this disrupted the society’s apparent ‘peace’ and dumped insecurities at the oppressors? But it was required. It’s relatively easier to walk around, talking about rights now than the pre-Islamic period, hun. It’s not about taking away rights. It’s about giving it to them when the society looked down upon women and gave them secondary positions. And since when did assumptions get us anywhere great? We still live in a male-dominated world where women are more often than not treated more like helpers. It’s not necessary that the laws (spoken about in Islam) will force a man/woman to bear the consequences for his/her wrong actions in the current world. However; it is definite that we WILL be accounted for what we do on the Day of Judgment (core belief).
I wouldn’t say I’ve been friends with girls who happen to be’ open’ about their needs. But yeah, I’ve been around such kinds and I’m aware of how they operate. I guess this is why we believe every group has the good, bad and the ugly. But over here (i.e. referral to faith), women are not expected to hide it or pretend their urges don’t exist. We are as human as men. As I mentioned before, the creator made you-that very same creator KNOWS what you’re like. This is why abstinence is discouraged. Why? It’s simply not in our biological wiring. Sure experiences can make us that way (becoming asexual etc) but we’re innately sexual beings. Why hide it. In fact, it is encouraged to talk about ‘tabooed ‘sexual topics (in a mature manner) to create awareness. Although, out urges (women AND men) have to be practiced within the legitimate boundaries (nothing outside the realm of marriage). A woman can enjoy her relationship with her husband and practice practically anything as long as it doesn’t violate any rights etc. And as for pornography material, it is beyond the realm of attaining pleasure through legitimate means and hence prohibited for both men and women. Have a fantasy? Work it out with your spouse.
I don’t agree with the statement “Hijab or no hijab, men will lust after what they can see. Faces, figures – and loose clothing only does so much.”
If practiced properly, chances of being lusted after in a covering are low. Very low. Of course provided that, in this case, girls behave themselves (just like how guys need to). How? I’ve seen, heck I’ve been one of the girls who thoughts wearing a shawl on your head is hijab. It isn’t. In fact EVEN if you wear the shawl perfectly and an overcoat and not a spot of your figure is revealed, it would still be pointless if you act suggestive (very common here), or act all Barbie with the shrieking laughter and the silly eye-eye games. This isn’t to say that guys are helpless and will only respond to what they see. They are equally responsible. Same thing applies to the guys. You need to wear loose clothing with your privates remaining well. .private. But that would again be pointless if YOU are eyeing girls, being suggestive, flirting around, silly remarks. And just like the guys, the girls are equally responsible for helping the guys and refrain from getting all silly. You are educated, I’m sure you can get the direction in which I’m pulling this. Also, a funny fact is that even If I’m all covered up, if I do as much as smile to the common boy, they start getting all weird. As if somehow, they now have a right to get silly with me. So personally (not particularly liked by a lot of my family members), I usually walk around like a frown when around strange guys: P

I do agree that the whole “eye contact” rule differs from culture to culture. While in most Asian countries, extended eye contact is considered rude, in many European/Western countries, it’s the other way round. The organization where I work in requires me to maintain moderate eye contact with most of its male members. That somehow has not been very problematic since no one is jumping on me or vice versa .lol
I can understand why you’d feel disrespected in the said situation. But then as you pointed out, it is cultural. And as for the staring at the assets point, I don’t cake my face with kgs of make-up or anything of the sort, so I feel safe coz the men I work with happen to be respectful ones. And were it to happen that I have travel to places where it’s crowded and uncomfortable (men have eyes here. And they make a damn good use of it-oogle babies), I just cover my face partially. I never did that before but resorting to this has helped a lot.

Hair has been and always will be a part of a woman’s feminine beauty. It may not be thought of as having a direct sexual role but nevertheless, it is what it is. Most men are obsessed with women with such and such hair type. And plus, exposure of hair has proved to help in the imagination of the viewer (even if their whole body is covered) which ultimately beats the purpose of Hijab. And yea I do agree most women these days are wonderfully into the scarf only. And they somehow overlook or ignore the step of covering other equally important sexually attractive parts.
Once again, your belief that I’m deliberately posing my belief to be superior is . . . well, your belief. It may or may not be true. But as I said earlier, praising my house doesn’t mean I look at yours with contempt. I just happen to like what I believe in. Believe me, I tried looking into other faiths and only because they were flawed in some way or the other (no offence to anyone); I stick with the one I find with no flaws whatsoever. Maybe, you should begin to look into why you are somewhat aversive towards mainfield religions. I’d prefer not to comment further on that coz you know yourself more than others.
PS: Muslim school or not, your volunteer services are definitely appreciated by a lot of us.
I do wish you have a good life ahead of you. With that much of brainpower and courage, you definitely deserve it. 
Oh and for the record, one can’t be an ARABIC, although you can be an ARAB.

I actually liked that you were honest in your post (something most people wouldn’t dare). And although I don’t particularly like heated arguments, I do have some points.
keeping your awareness of 2 particular belief systems in mind, I’ve to say that coming from a culturally & religiously diverse and progressive country, I do have a decent and confirmed awareness of certain other religions, so my points were definitely not biased or directed to influence certain people or even make certain cultures/ faiths look bad.
Also I don’t recall dragging any particular belief system and claiming their invalidity. I was just highlighting a few aspects of the only religion I personally know best ( in comparison with the others). Talking about ’more rights than others’, my meaning was limited only to the fact that while women are treated more or less equally in other faiths, Islam talks about those rights openly. I wasn’t talking about general gender equality- I was talking about Women’s rights in particular. Modern Society has changed a lot of things including the positions in gender equality(positive change), and after doing some research, you’d know that the religion of Islam & NOT culture has already talked about & encourages ppl to follow them,-sadly, these rules are hypocritically not followed in a lot of ”Islamic” countries.
Coming to modesty (which was exactly the main reason for my earlier post), the common idea of what freedom, oppression, and objectification has been defined by the society. A women who succumbs to the whims of fashion-starving herself, using useless commodity after commodity ( which btw, all managed in a male-dominated society) is seen to be free as compared to a covered woman who’d rather show what she thinks and not wonder whether she’s looking attractive to a certain crush etc. Fashion in our world, DEFINES how a woman should feel about herself-thankfully few ppl don’t fall for that.
It’s great that you dress, walk and talk appropriately. But man has been wired in a certain way. This isn’t to accuse him of attacking /pouncing on a random girl because he is lecherous. It only recognizes man +his desires, and women + their sexuality, instead of sweeping it all under the rug and smiling at the cameras posing seductively. Men will look at us and it makes many of us feel desirable, sexy, wanted etc. The purpose of hijab also extends to the point that women be judged only by their intellectual capacity, virtues, morals, values, basically what’s up in there. And while you may be the smartest girl I know, let’s face it, it isn’t going to stop a man from lusting after you. Temptations exist whether or not you’d like them to. Male/female psychology may help us understand this better.
A woman is asked, even encouraged to show herself to the man she decides to marry. It seems that you are unaware of the fact that in this religion, even MAN has the covering obligated upon him-something again, sadly many don’t follow-loose garment, not lurking at women etc.Even he has a big responsibility of helping the women in their acts by lowering their gaze, so your comment about compensating for male failings doesn’t apply here & it does give men a lot of credit. Same goes for the females. Why have women been told to cover more? Check out the ratio of Pornographic material showing women as compared to men. While you’re at it, check how many of these women are bald. (Hair is a part of the feminine beauty just like her body).
LOL at the purple hair though!
Just to point out, there is no particular rigid ”dress code” that dictates what one can wear. The criteria are loose fitted clothing and covering of hair-colour, material, pattern etc doesn’t matter. AT ALL. Although, I’d hardly fancy walking out in a gaudy hot Pink scarf to college.
I don’t quite get your point about how a hijab does nothing to hide a woman’s assets. But it’s been noted that the terms culture and religion have often been used interchangeably. Islam is a religion NOT a culture. What Indian Muslims do is different from the ones in North America. And culture is notorious to be very faulty in my setting.
And coming around to the point where men look at you inappropriately (staring at your breasts): it’s not easy to not be around someone who does that, esp if men sometimes do that on the metro, workplace etc. You can’t stop taking it or stop working or find another job-it isn’t as easy. The Burqa is not mandatory ( only optional), although the headscarf and loose clothing is. So if it really makes you all that uncomfortable, a woman can remove the (face) veil, but society always wants more. .or less in this case. I don’t understand how a simple overcoat and a scarf would violate national security or someone’s rights. It’s funny how a nun is practicing her religion when seen wearing her garment but a Muslim woman is oppressed or uneducated or blindly following rules.
My post would’ve been propaganda if I emailed the Holy book to everyone and threatened them to just convert and I don’t remember doing that. If we hint freedom of speech on this site, we’ve to learn to check other POVs instead of shutting eyes, or badmouthing a person.
Peace 

Ukh, so much for a short post.

Whoever you are, I love you for this secret!

At the one of comments^: It’s usually a good idea to understand that people who are (really) practicing their religion have a better idea about it’s beliefs and concepts.
The coverage of women like animals that the Talibani’s forced upon their women was definitely not for religious purposes-It was for power . And a surprise for you guys, every true Muslim condemned their acts and we still do.

However, the reasons for the veil or Hijab are very different in the religion of Islam. I’d love to go into the details if you’d like but just to make it short for now. . .
In Islam, contrary to popular beliefs, women are given more rights than any other religion whatsoever( that also can be elaborated). Whether or not people follow it is upon them just like any other act. Now by covering ourselves modestly, we women are treated more like ’humans’ and less like ’sex objects’. One can’t say ” How is that possible?” without being in that position and and understanding it’s true meaning . Only when you’ve worn it the way you are required to, can you understand it’s beauty and importance. I know- I’ve never been stared at weirdly, when talking;guys look at ’me’ and not my assets, they treat me better than they treat my friends, and ultimately you get more respect from others and more importantly, yourself.

what does the cross imply then??

aww. YOUR so smart

LOL myheartmysoul, you need to know you can’t please everyone. Stop apologizing and trying hard. It’s alright, some never get it. Your belief will suffice.

^LOL at the comment.
Maybe you need to exercise your smartness? cause acting silly isn’t exactly helpful. lol

I’m not a Christian, but this is awfully rude. Let’s not get immature here

This is sweet but remember, he’s mine as well

haha. I LOVE this!! plus the picture is great!