SecretZen

Well, it’s all a personal choice and all that. So do what seems right to you.

But masturbation and actual sex are very different things, even if the whole purpose of the first is to sort of ”mimic” the second. They are going to feel different, both emotionally and physically, so in my opinion you don’t really need to worry about masturbation giving you ”spoilers” for sex. I mean yeah, you’ll figure out what an orgasm is sooner, but that’s… only a good thing, really. In my experience, masturbation-orgasms and sex-orgasms feel quite different.

Anyway, if sex for you is emotional, I really wouldn’t worry about masturbation affecting your first sexual experience that much. Becoming familiar with the physical sensations of sex doesn’t change your emotional reaction to the act itself. It’s like… the difference between talking to yourself and talking to another person. You can pretty well mimic having an actual conversation without being anywhere near someone, but that doesn’t mean you’re having anywhere near the same experience.

Well I don’t know the story, I have no idea why the authorities decided she didn’t get any custody or visitation rights, but they never do that without very, very good reasons. That she took your daughter away from her family is only proof that they made the right decision, in my opinion. Regardless of how much she misses the children, their well-being should come FIRST to everyone involved, including herself. It clearly doesn’t.

I didn’t say it on the earlier secret, but by the way, I’m really glad to hear your daughter is safe.

Considering she kidnapped your daughter recently, I’m not sure how anyone is still saying she needs to be anywhere around those kids. I feel bad for her, but their welfare comes first, and she clearly is BAD for them.

A human. I like computers and being able to read novels.

Now, if I HAD to pick an animal to be, I guess… whale? Whales are the shit. Whichever species of whale gets hunted the least.

Well, that’s just not true. Milk helps prevent osteoporosis!

Depending on what she meant, and you’d know best – many parents of children with any kind of ”alternate” sexuality don’t so much care about their child’s sexuality from a fundamental standpoint, but from a societal standpoint. Being bisexual, or gay, or anything besides the ”norm” will make your life harder than it would be otherwise. And parents know this, and would wish to spare you the trouble. It could be your mom is biased. Or it could just be that she wishes you didn’t have to deal with the… complications… you’ll encounter.

While I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiment, I don’t think she is trying to ”force” herself to love him. I think the very heart of the problem is that she does love him, and she knows she shouldn’t, and that even on occasion, she wishes she didn’t (according to some other things she’s posted on here, at least).

Having said that, to littlemissbeth, falling ”out of love” with him is not a prerequisite for improving your life and moving on from him and getting help and becoming the kind of mother you want to be for the child you want so badly. But as I have said before, doing those things is a matter of choice, and it’s your choice. And if you’ve made your mind up, just know that we care about you and wish you happiness, no matter what.

Maybe you should work on understanding yourself as more than your sexual orientation? If you’re that confused maybe you ought to just live your life as best you can and figure things out as you go along.

The best actual advice is yeah, what they say above, don’t be alone. If this happened to me, my dad would just wait for him to show up again and then put a few rounds through his gut. If he could get to the guy before my mom did, anyway. But uh… for you, dammit, there’s not really time for you to learn how to defend yourself, since you have to worry about him right now. But when they catch him and throw his ass back in jail, that’s what you should do. I don’t guess there’s some relatives you could stay with for a while in another city, where he’d have a harder time getting to you?

Uh, first of all I’m pretty sure they don’t have a surgery to make you a virgin again. They do have something called ”hymenoplasty” which I guess must be what you’re talking about. But I don’t get why you’d do it. A hymen doesn’t do anything except get in the way during sex. It makes the experience more painful and uncomfortable. Sex with someone special is special because its sex with someone special, and not because it’s your ”first” time or because you are ”losing your virginity to” someone, although I guess for some people those things are important, too. I mean, if it just means a whole hell of a lot to you, for whatever reason, and you feel like it would increase your enjoyment of the experience, go for it, I guess. Just for me, I don’t get why you’d voluntarily return your vagina to a state that is going to make sex less comfortable, if you want it to be special with this person. To me, discomfort is not special.

Your situation sucks so much. But you’re getting help. Things won’t always be this way. Someday you will be able to be around your niece without having those thoughts, as long as you keep fighting to make that true. You are not a bad person, and you are doing the right thing, and when you are in a healthy mental place it will all be worth it.

Well uh… I hear that’s the thing to do when you want to talk to someone. So uh… if you want to talk to him, and he wants to talk to you, I think this is a pretty straightforward problem.

My mom always knows it’s a lie. But I mean she should, I have depression and so does she. So I guess that makes me lucky?

Drowing out the Drums of War? Hehehehe I’ve been watching too much Disney, my bad.

I bet the duck ate it. That’s a big duck.

It’s common after a breakup to be more attracted to people that resemble your ex. It doesn’t mean your preferences will change permanently, but even if they do, it’s nothing to fret over. If what he left you with is a stronger appreciation for mixed-race boys, hell, how can that be a bad thing?

That’s pretty normal. You have to compartmentalize though. Your relationship with your boyfriend should succeed or fail on its own merit, and not because of outside feelings, unless those outside feelings reach the point where they render you incapable of being honest with your boyfriend.

I’ve never ordered anything from there but it’s advertised all over the place and it’s pretty popular. So I can’t say from personal experience, but I have never heard anything bad about it.

Um… You have these chemicals in your brain that have evolved for the sole purpose of getting you to procreate? So when you trick them into thinking that’s what you’re doing, or will be doing soon, they get all excited.